Top Time Tip #105
Five Time (and Sanity) Saving Tips for Parents
2nd July 2008
As I was raising my rowdy family of six – five boys and one girl, I never saw myself as doing much more than surviving. However, with the benefit of hindsight it’s fun to realise that I did pick up a few useful tips along the way. Maybe they had more of a hand in ‘helping’ me into this career as a time management specialist than I realise!
1. Is There Such A Thing As Managing Time In A Family?
Ever experienced anything like this? You’ve just got in from work. You’re tired, brain-dead, there’s a mess in the kitchen and the vultures are hovering around the fridge. And then the thirteen-year-old dumps the latest irresistible instruction in your over-blessed schedule.
'Mum, the coach wants us to come to an extra practice at 4 o'clock tomorrow.'
You roll your eyes in despair. Simon has his remedial reading class at the same time, your mother-in-law is coming to dinner and the house looks as if a cyclone just went through! You've also got a major project on at work and it all seems just TOO much. Sound familiar?
Remember – this too will pass. One day the rush will end. The rest of the world won't go away whilst you're in child-rearing mode. Work will still be there. Other external hobbies, sports and interests can be picked up in years to come. We don’t have to do everything and our kids won’t be disadvantaged if they don’t do as many sports and after-school activities as some of their mates.
Don't try and fit in too many things - make life as simple as you can.
2. The 80/20 Rule – Housework Style
Let go of the unimportant things – work the 80/20 rule. 20% of your precious time spent doing a surface tidy-up will generate 80% of the impact. Don't be a perfectionist.
When my kids were very young (and all six of them arrived in exactly nine years – to the day!) the house was almost always messy. I was constantly grateful for the four minutes warning of approaching visitors afforded by our long drive. I can’t tell you how many times baking dishes and pots were hidden in the oven as a car slowly ground up the hill. One day I even had to use the washing machine to stow the kitchen mess!
It constantly amazed me how much better the bombsite masquerading as our home looked with dirty dishes out of sight, the sofa throw-over pulled up tidily and the worst of the toy mess picked up off the floor. Perhaps that’s where I learnt to move quickly and deal with the most important things first!
However, remember that visitors come to see you, not the house. If that's not so, either don't encourage the picky ones to come, or give them a broom and tea towel.
3. It's Not The Visitors Who Expect My House To Look Immaculate - It's Me. What Can I Do?
Get over it!
One day I found myself saying to a wise friend, ‘Sorry the windows are so dirty. I had the grandchildren over yesterday.’ (We’re blessed with ten of them now, although it’s not too often they visit together.)
‘They’re not dirty windows, Robyn,’ she said. ‘They’re love marks.’
I thought back to the rascally and delightful little people who’d waved happily to their departing parents from the first-floor windows the day before; I reflected on the joy of cuddles and a second generation of Hairy MacLary, Peter Rabbit and Winnie the Pooh; and I agreed.
What really matters in your life? Would you rather have a sticky, messy home, the love and joy of these children and the rich and busy life you lead, or a clean, boring and empty house? There are plenty of years to tidy up once they've flown the nest or the grandchildren have become teenagers who (temporarily) think ‘grandma cuddles’ are uncool.
Work out what is non-negotiable, get some family agreements and let go of unrealistic expectations. Who cares about a bit of mess and dirt? It’s both superficial and temporary. Do you want a house or a home?
4. What About Those Older Mucky Pups Who Don’t Tidy Up After Themselves?
Isn't it amazing how pots and crockery land invisibly on the bench without human intervention! One day, fed up with being the maid, I laid down an ultimatum. (Key point - don't do it when you're mad).
'OK guys, I'm sick of cleaning up after you all. From now on, anything left on the bench will be deposited in your bedrooms.'
For two days no sinful item appeared. Then, you got it - the good intentions slipped. I came home from work to find ten items decorating the kitchen bench. A towel on the relevant bedroom carpets, offending items deposited in the middle of their rooms and the doors shut so I didn’t have to look at them was my response. Soon grumpy faces and dirty dishes appeared at the sink. Not a word was said but the message was delivered. It was never as bad again.
Key point - if you promise reprisals you must follow through.
5. It’s Quicker To Do It Myself
Get over it! Learn to let go or you'll still be cleaning up after them when they're 40!
I always vowed, when my boys were growing up, that they would learn to be as useful around the house as their sister. When faced with grumbles I’d say: ‘One day your wives will thank me.’
They do!
Parting Thought
One of my very sweet ‘grandma rewards’ is the grin I don’t even try to hide when those same kids, now parents themselves, grit their teeth as their little darlings create mayhem. There is justice in the world! Payback time is so sweet!
© All Rights Reserved to Robyn Pearce, GettingAGrip.com.
Admin Office: PO Box 29 586, Fendalton, Christchurch 8540, New Zealand
Ph. + 64 3 351 2140 http://www.gettingagrip.com
|
