Top Time Tip #117
We NEED This Recession!
26th March 2009
Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the 50th Reunion of my old school, Rotorua Girls High. What a blast! Not only was it great to catch up with my buddies, some of whom I'd not seen for over 40 years, but I walked away incredibly proud of my school. It left me with a renewed appreciation for great teachers and how they can influence so many generations of people, communities and even the world.
Have you ever seen the movie 'Goodbye Mr Chips'  starring Peter O'Toole? It's a beautiful story of a teacher at an English boys' boarding school and how over his life he made a huge impact on not only the school but also the lives of his pupils. I was constantly reminded of the theme of that movie as I listened to people talking about the various teachers who'd impacted on them, and especially the second principal, Mrs Sheila Peacock. I was privileged to have her teach me in my last two years of school; she became principal a few years later.
Still today you can feel the impact of her love for 'her girls' and the school. She lived the qualities we find not only in the best teachers but also in the best managers - she cared, she was a firm and fair disciplinarian, she listened, empathised and never made anyone feel they were a failure. A reprimand was given with underlying love, no matter how much of a ratbag the culprit was.
Many shared how her influence had shaped their lives. That influence has continued on since her death - from this proud school many students continue to make major contributions around the world. And the current principal, Annette Joyce, is following in Mrs Peacock's footsteps.
The school today is more than just a functional place. Not only is it litter- and graffiti-free but it's also a place of beauty - lovely gardens, well-kept grounds and much beautiful art. As a small group of us were guided around the school by a lovely young woman in her school uniform I was reminded of an inspirational man I was lucky enough to hear in New York last August.  Bill Strickland is the founder and CEO of the Manchester Craftsmen's Guild, an innovative non-profit agency in Pittsburgh. I encourage you to check out his work - it will blow your socks off.
Just three of his sentences stay with me still.
- Flowers, sunshine and affection will cure anything.
- Arts are part of the cure for cancer of the spirit.
- People are a function of expectations and environment.
The staff at Rotorua Girls High School, both past and present, know that.
Yours in appreciating great teachers and visionary people who make a difference.
Cheers,
Lead Article - We NEED This Recession!
I was enjoying a meal at the Thistle Hotel in Wellington a few weeks ago with a small group. It included my oldest son, a Lt Colonel currently attached to Defence HQ and working on some very high-level projects, and my good mate Allie Mooney, one of New Zealand's top women speakers. Not surprisingly the conversation turned to the current economic climate. And then we started to reflect on how the experiences of our early years had influenced our resilience levels. As it happened, almost everyone around the table, my son included, had experienced hardship, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem and times of 'doing without' in our early years (and for some of us, me included, well into our adult lives.)
Our conclusion? Hardships and hard times are a precious gift. They teach us. They toughen us. They give us strength - IF we approach them with the determination to overcome. Every one of us noted that if we'd not experienced those earlier tough times we'd not now be capable of doing the work we do, nor in a position to contribute to society in our various ways.
Many readers of this Top Time Tips ezine employ young people. Have you noticed that those who've had an easy life prior to arriving in the workplace are usually the hardest to motivate, manage, lead or direct? And often the brightest ones, who've not had to work hard in school or even university, struggle the most  when complex tasks require solid application. Further to that, when times get tough and jobs get scarce, those same people are not well equipped to cope with the situation. Many of them find it scary, depressing and mighty uncomfortable.
On the other hand, if you've already been at the bottom of the pile, if you've already survived on the smell of an oily rag, if you've been unemployed or part of a group that the 'popular' crowd don't want to be bothered with, you know you can deal with economic blips - because you've done it before.
Let me now take a moment to address common child-raising techniques. I speak from the perspective of having raised six children, five of them boys, and also now as a grandmother of twelve (the latest two born in the last three weeks!)
I profoundly believe that if we make our children's lives soft and easy, if we take away risk and challenge, if we always seek to protect them from adversity, we weaken, damage and distort the precious young lives we're entrusted with. Of course we protect them from danger when they're little, but danger and adversity are not the same thing. Real danger is life-threatening; adversity is just a situation that we have choices on - choices of attitude, choices of action.
However, although many people know this intellectually, how often do you hear successful people - who have experienced tough beginnings - say 'I don't want my kids to have to go through the hardships I did.' And so - they bend over backwards, spend vast amounts of money, do everything they can - to smooth the path for their children, to make life easy for them. In fact, such an attitude will do huge damage to your precious children. It disadvantages them, sometimes beyond repair.
I might be a slow learner in some things but I've had enough years to finally notice that there is a DIRECT relationship between kids who have life too easy and adults who lack resilience, are often also selfish, self-centred and dysfunctional and who seldom rise to their potential. Many people with wonderful easy childhoods, with every advantage and everything they want lavished on them, end up living adult lives of boredom, emptiness and quiet desperation. Softness makes us weak and ineffective.
If you're a gardener, think of the process of turning tender plants into ones that can cope with a tough environment. My husband and I live on the shores of a tidal river estuary.
It's a very harsh environment for a garden - salt-laden wild west winds are the norm and the soil isn't brilliant. Our landscaper, when discussing our planting options, said: 'Make sure any plants you purchase have been hardened off. Most nurseries don't do it. They raise their plants in very protected enclosures. If your plants haven't had a bit of exposure to wind, sun, cold and rain before you transplant them, they won't survive in your rough conditions.' Our children are like soft plants; a bit of hardening up (with only as much supervision as is relevant) is the key to survival.
So how do we develop resilient young people? It's too big a topic for this forum, but here are three of my basic rules and a really useful book if you're interested in more.
- From an early age allow them to feel the consequences of their actions. Let the punishment fit the crime.
- Don't give them everything they want. Make them earn and save for their rewards.
- Link pocket money to tasks.
I'm glad about the economic mess the world is in right now. We need it. To become effective we must become resilient again. Resourceful and resilient people and companies thrive. They're prepared - with the right attitude. They know how to rise above immediate circumstances, they have the long view and they have determination.
This is a great time to be in business.
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