Dear Roger,

There are many techniques but a very simple one is to commit to regularly setting aside time to totally relax. How often do you do this? The body has a quiet 'voice' - we have to slow down in order to 'hear' what it's saying.

Maybe what's just happened to me in the last few days might explain the point.

I've been on the run myself for weeks - last week was no exception. I'd had a very busy week in New York, long flights there and back (close to 24 hours each way with delays and airport transfers), not very many hours of good sleep, and then straight back to work last week, including the two full (and very enjoyable) days with you guys. Friday was just as busy. At week's end I felt fine, quite pumped in fact, but I know enough now to realise that the highs must have compensatory down times or we crash.

So, even though a dear friend was coming to stay with us over this last weekend, we agreed we'd have a quiet weekend instead of filling every minute. We pottered around, other guests joined us for dinner Saturday night, hubbie Mike and I took our friend out to lunch on Sunday, but through the weekend there was no pressure or stress. Little naps, no emails, no work of any kind.

At first it was hard to slow down. Then the tiredness kicked in. My body began to feel as though it was made of concrete - the more I slowed down the heavier and more sluggish Iit felt. By the end of the weekend (after two days of gentle relaxation and enjoyable low-paced activity) I still felt quite tired. Even on Monday a residue of lethargy remained.

The 'listening to the body' bit comes in here. If our body says 'I'm tired' we need more 'slow time'. On Monday afternoon, since I was working from home, a brief power nap was fitted in - with NO guilt! Part of the deal is noticing what is happening to our physical state and giving ourselves permission to go slower. Once we've caught up our body tells us that too - we'll feel the renewed energy and focus.

How I learnt to listen
In earlier years I didn't listen to my body and so had recurring health issues. Burnout and sickness were part of the regular cyclical health pattern. I'd get better, think 'thank goodness I'm feeling good now' and go hard out again. Then, a few months later the burnout cycle would begin again.

The thing that makes the difference is noticing how your body feels just BEFORE you get sick each time. You may notice a sensation, when things are really pumping, a bit like a tight watch spring. There may even be a feeling of being invincible (wrong!) and yet accompanied by a very quiet little, almost subconscious, element of disquiet, a concern as to whether you really can sustain the pace. And often, a few days or a week later you might come down with a bad cold or flu. Or if something 'normal' like that doesn't slow you down you sometimes go a bit longer and then get REALLY sick.

Now, when I notice that 'lead-up' of seemingly quite positive tension in the body I know it's time to slow down. Last Friday was one of those nudges.

A health expert some years ago explained it this way. Think of everything we do as having a component of stress and each component as a brick. Imagine yourself building a wall of stress bricks in front of yourself.

If we take a short break about every six weeks, and it might be only a full day or two days of NO WORK or deadline-driven commitments, we keep the stress bricks at a manageable level. A few layers of bricks tumble down when we slow down.

However, if we don't take those small 'sanity gaps' through the year, creating space for our body to control the stress bricks, when we finally stop for an annual holiday our body heaves a huge sigh of relief and says, 'Right, if you won't stop when I tell you you'll certainly stop now' . Whack, - we're flat on our backs!