|
|
|
+64 3 351 2140 Tips on How to Defuse a Volatile Situation
I was at dinner at an AP/DP conference at Wairakei Resort a couple of years ago. As we chatted about time-challenging situations, angry parents, guardians and employees popped into the agenda.
Slow things down
Winton said: ‘I look for ways to slow things down. When someone comes at you with a head of steam I say: “We need to talk about this properly.” Then I set a time the next day – it defuses the situation, gives them time to order their thoughts, and the pressure usually evaporates a bit.’
There are a bunch of benefits from this strategy.
- They know they’ve been heard.
- You’ve indicated you’ll do something about it.
- With the words used you’ve implied that you want to give it the importance it deserves.
- They’ve got time to sleep on whatever is bothering them, and it’s amazing how a night’s sleep moderates thorny issues - with the help of our sub-conscious.
- You also have time to investigate facts and be prepared.
What about Friday?
Another ‘slow down’ strategy is to channel tricky things to the end of the week. It’s not always possible or appropriate, of course, but a great way to minimise the negative impact of energy-draining issues is to clump those tricky, difficult and potentially obstreperous people and issues into Friday afternoon. Your work is out of the way, the kids have left for the weekend, and the niggles and nuisance issues have often had time to resolve themselves.
Of course, if there’s a serious likelihood of it escalating into World War Three, deal with it before Friday!
Ask for contentious issues to be written down
If you’re new in a school or organization you usually won’t have the prior knowledge on touchy issues that come up, and it takes time to research them. If you try to deal with this kind of issue when it first flies in your face, things often get out of hand.
One way to get the information is to ask the person concerned to write down an overview of the relevant factors and their understanding of the issues.
You could create a 1-page template which you offer either in hard copy or by email. A useful framework would ask things like:
- Who’s involved?
- What actions have been taken?
- What role each person has in the incident.
- A brief outline of any background facts that should be considered.
If the upset or angry one can’t read, or can’t easily write, or English isn’t their mother tongue, you may need to modify the strategy. Their needs must be met too; their frustration will escalate if they’re disadvantaged by the system.
Benefit of a standard form: It focuses their attention; gives a succinct framework; keeps people to the facts rather than emotion; and hopefully gives you clarity.
Either they do a good job and vent some of their anger on paper and are more reasonable when you get together, or the issue goes away – because they never come back. The latter will often occur because the issue wasn’t really important, they were just sounding off, and it’s too much trouble to get their thoughts marshalled and the matter down on paper.
Either way you’re not caught short; you’ve bought yourself enough extra time to prepare and do your own investigation.
One note of caution:
If you can see that an incident is turning into a major drama, you might have to deal with it quickly. It’s important that people are acknowledged and heard; however, don’t see them on the spot, for all the reasons outlined above. You might say something like: ‘I’m sorry, but I’m unable to see you right now. I’ll be free in an hour. Here’s a form to help you get the details outlined. It would be very helpful if you could get that filled in first and then come back at …...’
Robyn Pearce CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) is the Time Queen. She mastered her own time challenges and now helps people around the world overcome theirs. She can show you how to transform your time challenges into high productivity and the life balance you desire.
© All Rights Reserved to Robyn Pearce, GettingAGrip.com, PO Box 29 586, Fendalton, Christchurch 8540, New Zealand Ph. + 64 3 351 2140
GET these FREE GIFTS TODAY
Add your details below and you will receive your FREE Gifts (Valued at $227)
Client Testimonials
Catalyst For Efficiency ImprovementsIt was great to introduce our two job-share receptionists to Robyn’s Getting a Grip on The Paper War text. It became a catalyst for us to improve our administration proce..." Marie Collins, Business Manager, The NZ Institute of Plastic & Cosmetic Surgery
Enhanced Efficiency Thank you for all the tips and words of advice you and your team have sent through.I have been constantly reading it and it does wonders to my line of work and also being a wife and mot..." Anaseini Liku, Communication & Media Coordinator, Ministry of Education, Cook Islands
Clear Directions Enhance Use Of TimeI have just finished reading 'Getting a Grip on Time' and 'Getting a Grip on the Paper War'. Particularly your book on 'Time' got me back on track, and during the day I catc..." Ingrid Geerlings, Owner, www.houseofmilk.com
Leadership Book Helps To find the Real Me‘I’ve just been reading ‘Getting a grip on Leadership’. It is very good and has had an impact on me. I realised I’d lost my way a bit re who I am ..." Heather Millar, Manager, Professional Practice, Central North Island Kindergarten Association, New Zealand
Additional $120,000 Billed After Time Management CourseI have personally known Robyn Pearce for around 16 years. From time to time my firm has contracted Robyn on a project basis to work with our professional staff as well as partners in the fi..." John Hackett, Partner, A J Park, New Zealand
The Librarian Who Got Her Life Back!The kick-start that I needed was delivered by a velvet glove, but make no mistake the iron hand within the glove ensured that the message was received and understood. If you are going to spend some..." Heather Jenks, Associate University Librarian (Research and Learning Services), University of Canterbury
Increasing Personal Confidence And Job ManagementHaving worked already very successfully with our NZ Team, Robyn's support of the Australian Team over a 12-month period was fundamental to helping us cope with increased day to day workload - espec..." Julia Braun, General Manager - Marketing, Beiersdorf Australia
A Great Empathy And Affinity With PeopleI have used Robyn as an Executive Coach for key Senior Staff for a number of years now and couldn't recommend her more highly. I've found as people step up in the organisation they often struggle t..." Merilyn Havler, Then General Manager, Beiersdorf New Zealand
An Increase of 30% In Gross Turnover Due To Better SystemsWhen we reviewed the progress made as a result of your concepts, a staggering number of them had become an integral part of our day to day business, collectively making a huge difference to our eff..." Wayne & Lisa Hughes, Occupational Therapy Helping Children, NSW, Australia
Motivational And Thought Provoking SessionI'd like to highlight the benefits felt both by the staff members attending your sessions, and the motivational flow-on effects experienced throughout the Hotel.In the developmental sta..." Human Resources Manager, Wentworth Hotel (part of the Rydges chain)
Successful Paper Management SeminarThank you for your interesting and indeed challenging speech. I could see all the people who've been buried under mountains of paper looking hopeful! You were succinctly able to get your point acro..." Australian Institute of Credit Managers, Sydney Branch
Personalised Seminar For Long-term ResultsOn behalf of the team at Strategic Lifestyle Management and our client Lend Lease I would like to thank you for the 'Getting A Grip on Time' workshops. My client was looking for a high quality and ..." SLM Conference and Incentive Manager, for client Lend Lease
Excellent Skilful Presenter "Thank you for the practical and informative Time Management seminar you recently gave to our senior management team". You are an excellent presenter and facilitated this seminar with great skill. ..." HR Manager, ANA Hotel, Sydney
Improve Your Organisation And ProductivityImprove Your Organisation And Productivity The response to the program was extremely positive, with an average rating of 4.4 out of ..." Noel Cook, GM, Outdoor Network, Australia
Organisational Skills Improve To Lift ProductivityOrganisational Skills Improve To Lift Productivity Your time management seminars are one of the best things we've ever done. Weeks l..." Centrelink, Dubbo, New South Wales
Productivity Increased 50%Productivity Increased 50% Now several months later and my productivity has increased between 30% and 50%. I'm seeing more and bette..." Senior financial planner, IPAC, Australia
Timesaving Techniques LearnedTimesaving Techniques Learned A wonderful surprise to learn how much I had improved since the first programme with you nine months a..." National Sales Manager, Personal Insurance, GIO Australia
Control Gained In Managing TimeControl Gained In Managing Time Feedback from the staff was very positive... all felt they had gained a great deal of control and di..." MD, C.Y. O'Connor College of TAFE, Northam, WA
Immediate Action For ChangeImmediate Action For Change A lot of great new ideas and some very good new tools that I shall start implementing immediately. Group Services Trainer, Adecco
Increased Efficiency Saves 20-25 Minutes A DayIncreased Efficiency Saves 20-25 Minutes A Day "Many practical hints which helped me reorganise my office, to operate efficiently." ..." Senior Partner, Baldwins (Patent Attorneys)
Invaluable Resources In Time Management BooksInvaluable Resources In Time Managemet I would like to take this opportunity to commend you on the flexibility of your approach, and..." Human Resources Manager, Professional Services Review, Canberra
Self Management Crucial In Time ManagementSelf Management Crucial In Time Management You presented a most informative and challenging training session. Your ability to gain q..." Human Resources Manager, Independent Pricing & Regulatory Tribunal of NSW
'Time Management Guru'!'Time Management Guru'! Once again you combine an enthusiastic presentation style with useful tips and techniques. Succinct and fun ..." Manager - Training & Development, Real Estate Institute of NSW
Beneficial Time Management IdeasBeneficial Time Management Ideas Your presentation was brilliant, and your thoughts on how to make time management beneficial to eve..." Barbara McCarthy, President, Chatswood Chamber of Commerce, Sydney
Informative And Energising SpeechInformative And Energising Speech We could not have chosen better. Your contribution was just what we wanted and needed, and I was t..." Raewyn James, Tamaki Teachers' Conference
Positive Feedback For SpeechPositive Feedback For Speech Robyn, you gave a fantastic speech, and I am still having positive feedback about your talk to this day..." Sales and Marketing Co-ordinator, Swiss Grand Hotel, Bondi, and co-ordinator of Eastern Suburbs Women's Breakfast
Work Life Balance Put Into PracticeWork Life Balance Put Into Practice I know everyone who attended was fascinated by all your planning tips and I know many have put t..." Solo Home Business Network, Sydney
IT Company Gains Insight Into Effective Time ManagementIT Company Gains Insight Into Effective Time Management We were very impressed... everyone gained considerable insight to effective ..." MD, IT software company, Auckland
Professional Approach Reinforces Time Management PrinciplesProfessional Approach Reinforces Time Management Principles Following a number of very positive reference checks we invited Robyn Pe..." Godfrey Pembroke National Conference, Hobart, Tasmania
Staff Queue For Time Management Tips!Staff Queue For Time Management Tips! "Thank you! I'm sure you could tell from everyone's enthusiasm that they enjoyed your presenta..." Programme Director, Pioneer SWAP
Specific Personalised Advice Benefits GroupSpecific Personalised Advice Benefits Group Robyn gave much more than the professional information imparted in this kind of session...." Principal Heritage Officer, Heritage Council NSW
They're 'screaming for more'!They're 'screaming for more'! Thanks for your wonderful presentation. I've had a lot of positive feedback from our staff, and they c..." GM's assistant, Austereo, Australia
L.J. Hooker Predicts Great Success In Using Their Time L.J. Hooker Predicts Great Success In Us Your down-to-earth common sense certainly hit home to a lot of people, and the feedba..." Lyn McDermott, Ass. Director, Marketing and Communication, L.J. Hooker Ltd
5 Stars For Time Management Course5 Stars For Time Management Course Robyn, in light of this morning's session (and comments about short emails!) I could leave it the..." Wilf Marley, Principal, Marley Loft Systems (Accountants)
Simple Practical Action Steps For Work Life BalanceSimple Practical Action Steps For Work Life Balance We've had great feedback since your last session with the NZ Institute of Charte..." Denise Bovaird, Past President, New Zealand Institute of Chartered Accountants
Improved Focus And Concentration After Time Management CourseImproved Focus And Concentration After Time Management Course Since your time management course our managers have found that they ca..." John Moore, Then-HR Manager, International Cricket Council, Dubai
Jam-packed Personalised Seminar Very EffectiveJam-packed Personalised Seminar Very Effective Robyn spoke to four of my Academy groups in the space of 11 days. I wa..." Barrie Barrett, Chairman, Academy for Chief Executives, United Kingdom
"Awesome" Says Busy Law ClerkI just thought I'd spend a few minutes in the Proactive/Value-adding quadrant and let you know how informative and helpful your seminar for us law clerks here last week was. I particularly enjoyed ..." Law Clerk, Bell Gully, New Zealand
Excellent 'Management' Course, As Well As 'Time Management'Excellent 'Management' Course, As Well As 'Time Management' I would like to extend a huge thank you for making your valuable time av..." David Greenslade, Managing Director, Strategi, New Zealand
We've Regained 30% Of The Time We Used to Lose!We've Regained 30% Of The Time We Used to Lose! Since we worked with Robyn 5 months ago our team of 12 underwriters and support staf..." Senior Underwriter, QBE Insurance, New Zealand
Fantastic Course - Team Feedback Extremely Positive!Fantastic Course - Team Feedback Extremely Positive! Thanks very much for the Time Management programme you have conducted over the ..." Gareth McCulloch, National Sales Manager, Southern Hospitality Limited
Follow Us on Twitter
Keep up with Robyn's quick time management tips by following @robynpearce.
Follow Us on Facebook
Where the Time Queen shares free time management strategies.